In a writing workshop this spring, the first comment was that my essay was "blunt" and the next three participants echoed the sentiment. Ouch. But I found and read _Meander, Spiral, Explode: Design and Pattern in Narrative_ By: Jane Alison. I am starting to incorporate her ideas on time (expanding time, real time, and compressed time) and structures that can be found in nature - I especially like the idea of writing "waves."
Thanks for this Lynn. I've heard that's a great book. I would love to hear more about the idea of writing waves if you have time to come back and tell us – sounds very intriguing.
Get well soon Hattie! I’m sorry I missed the writing hour. I really want to make the next one. At the moment I’m thinking a lot about trash drafts and writing being destruction as per your Holly Bourne and Elif Shafak episodes! I’m in trash draft stage and I need to get the words out without being precious, which in verse novels is HARD! But I love writing in notebooks so I can see the crossings out / destruction part and it’s not just all about computer word count...
That's so cool. I type almost everything, but when I get stuck, I find I crave a pen and paper. Then I can scribble out a plan in a more visual way, with lots of arrows and circles etc. It's so interesting that writing by hand seems to access a different part of the brain.
Hope you feel better soon Hattie, sounds miserable. Give yourself lots of tlc x I’m thinking on how the story demands to be written, like that adage I’ve heard many people quote that writing is a revelatory process, more like sculpture, and really how I just have to get out of the way and let it happen. It takes longer but I’ve found writing by hand really helpful, because you can’t edit and you can’t wander off to Wikipedia for ‘research’....
Yes, I think Stephen King talks about that in On Writing, if I'm remember correctly. I didn't really believe it when I read it, to be honest – I didn't like the vaguely mystical implication that the stories exist without us and we're just 'finding' them. But now, having got a bit further into creative writing myself, I can see that it does *feel* like that sometimes – as though you're uncovering something that was already there. It's a really nice feeling.
Feel better soon, Hattie - wishing you lots of rest and a smooth recovery from here on out.
I really need this thread prompt - actually think it's useful to have the occasional writing confessional/blackhole that we can put our best and worst writing thoughts into. On my writing mind at the moment is the issue of voice (and a current loss of confidence that I have one).
I've been trying to write more regularly recently, because I think not writing things through or taking enough time to just write and practice is one of my biggest enemies. However, I'm struggling at the moment to know if what I'm writing is a) any good at all (there's that confidence issue) and b) whether is the sort of tone/voice I really want to develop. Everything feels a bit off at the moment.
My plan to combat this is do some more experimenting. To try out some different styles and tones to see if I'm placing unnecessary restrictions on myself as I write.
Love the idea of a writing confessional/blackhole! Maybe we should make it a regular feature.
I think your plan is spot on. Also – not sure if this is a silly idea but – do you keep a journal? I find freeform writing, morning pages and that kind of thing, quite good in just getting something on the page without criticising it. I know your voice in a journal might be different to your voice in fiction, but they'd probably be cousins at least?
Also I do think my confidence in my voice grew a bit in the second year of the MA, which I know you're about to go into. I think just keep doing everything you're doing.
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Current writing challenges, as if they ever end. I'm starting a new job so that takes time and attention. I now have two jobs. The work that pays the bills will continues to be a distraction from the work that 'pays' the soul, at least until I hit my stride with the new position. For many years I have been fighting with myself and the demands of everyday life. I scrap to make a space for my writing and to find a balance. Luckily there's a lot of opportunity for practice. That is the place I'm in (thank you for getting me to say it), making MY writing a priority. Writing fiction, write every day, and keep the promise I have made to myself to be a writer. Technically I'm currently focused on voice. I'm paying attention to it in what I've been reading as well as in my own work.
I echo everyone in their well wishes, hopeful for speedy recovery!
One thing has been occupying my writing (or lack there of); how are physical realities best represented in their emotional effects? As an example, when my wife and I are casually talking if the kitchen island is in between us there is often the conversational/emotional sense of some floating intruder disrupting the discussion. But how is that best introduced in text? How to the small things that shouldn’t matter but do appear in a medium that often strips those things away?
That’s what I’m noodling in! Delightful to read everyone else’s comments as well, what an imaginative crew!
My question for you would be this: does the kitchen island really seems like a floating intruder? Or is tension/conflict/etc the floating intruder and the physical object just a way to express it? Or, if the talking is as casual as you say -- and conflict free -- is the floating intruder ‘overhearing’ something private (an off-color joke; a cruel word about a colleague you’ve just had over to dinner; a remark about your nephew’s thumbsucking habit -- or possibly even something more mundane, such as telling your wife she looks nice in her new pink running shoes)?
I’m curious -- for myself, this might not apply to you, but I’ll run with it in case it’s helpful -- what about the conversation makes the object embody an intruder. I’d like to explore the emotional resonance of the people in the scene and then explore how to make the objects reflect or heighten that emotion, maybe by personifying them.
Love the continuation of this, the kitchen island was an off the cuff example but you tapped into the thrust of the question exactly. I think my worry is pursuing your framing is in the personification of the physical, making a grounded feature come alive is a certain approach I would juxtapose with leaving it rigid and staunch.
So to explore it in another context, in a beach scene the waves (and sense experiences surrounding them) are often highly present in scenes that occur there, but my aim would be to include them not as directly affecting/reflecting the conversation/scene but permanent and overarching all scenes that have ever taken place there. This scene affects the waves rather than the waves affecting the scene, and of course the waves are unphased (just as a kitchen counter would be, presiding over some human disconnect in communication).
But to lean more into your thoughtful response, I think connecting the dots between the emotional resonance of the human to the objects and how they manifest in the character’s perspective could be incredibly fruitful as well!
Thanks Ethan and Steven – this is really thought-provoking. It reminded me of this newsletter by Toby Litt (who teaches on my course at Birkbeck): https://awritersdiary.substack.com/p/juni-15 I think what he's saying is that what your characters notice, and where and how lingering their attention is, tells you a lot about their state of mind. Your character could, for example, find himself increasingly irritated by the obstacle of the kitchen island during the conversation because he wants to touch his wife – but I think the briefest suggestion of something like this will go a long way with a reader.
Hope you feel better soon.... The writing thing I'm struggling with most (apart from the usual finding time to actually do any) is the anxiety that comes with putting it out there. Mostly I mean in small ways, like sending out my newsletter. But I have something bigger in the works too, and the jangly nerves are insane. Where does this come from? And why doesn't it seem to go away with practice? (I'm a journalist - you'd think I'd be used to it by now). x
I know. It's so scary. I don't know why we put ourselves through it. If any consolation, doing workshops as part of my MA was like being thrown into the deep end with this, and I think it *does* get easier with practice – but never quite goes away. x
I'm writing my second novel at the mo (first one as yet unpublished!) and it seems to be so hard compared to the first one; to get words on the page, to feel like I'm on any kind of roll etc, to make headway...
I was so into the idea for this book when I started out but it's like pulling teeth and I keep thinking how well the first one flowed. Do you think this is a sign that I should put it away or should I persevere? Also, maybe I'm forgetting how hard the first one was too!
The parts my trusted readers who've read my first novel liked the best were the parts I found hardest to write so maybe it's worth continuing as maybe the writing is better than it feels. It's not exactly fun though....! Let me know what you think. x
Hi Rachel, thanks so much for this. I don't think I have any authority here to give an opinion really – I'm so impressed that you finished writing one novel, which is more than I've achieved. I have one thought, though – are you writing in a chronological way (i.e. chapter one followed by chapter two)? I sometimes find when I'm stuck that it's better to just skip to a bit that I actually want to write – maybe something that's been playing on my mind or that I've already semi-written in my head. It might even be the end of the story, or something much further into it. It does mean that I'm working in a jigsaw fashion, jumping around a lot, but for me it helps to keep morale up and keep making progress.
Thanks Hattie. It’s a good idea and reminded me that I did that kind of thing with the last book actually. I have covid (hope you’re feeling better) so maybe I’m just down on everything.
God, I really sympathise. As my mum is always reminding me, viruses have a depressive effect – so it's very natural to feel down. I hope you feel much better very soon.
Hi Hattie. I was surprised you were even able to write over 700 words! When I have Covid, I’m barely able to think! Hopefully, your fatigue will pass soon and you’ll be back on the trail.
As regards my writing, I am completely rewriting and rejigging the fantasy/healing trilogy I am currently working on. I had finished the first one and published it on Amazon but in writing what I believed was the sequel, I realised that some of the sequel chapters would work better in the first book. Doing courses has made me a better plotter! Of course, adding the new chapters means getting rid of some of the others, but as I’ve already published the first one, which I will park on Amazon for now, I know they are not lost.
I had begun to stall, writing what I thought were the final chapters of the sequel, because something was not feeling right. I was struggling with timing. Once I decided to remove some of the chapters and place them in the first book I was able to continue, unblocked. (I love how our sub-conscious mind understands the energy of rhythms and timing better than our conscious one).
But, as eager as I am to continue, and to get as much done as possible before the next life-hiccup stops me for a bit, I have to visit the chiropractor today.
However, things can percolate while I listen to your podcast on the drive down.
Take care and let your brain and body rest and hopefully you’ll be up and about in no time.
Thanks so much Ann, that's really kind. Sounds like a very good breakthrough on the trilogy, and brilliant to see progress thanks to the courses you've been doing. Hope you had a good productive few days.
I love your idea about our subconscious mind getting the energy of rhythms and timing better than our conscious mind. It’s an experience I’ve had and it reminds me of something a famous American film critic said: I’ve never encountered a problem with my writing that could be solved with something other than doing the writing. Or something like that, anyway. It’s a good mantra, maybe.
Oh no! Sorry to hear you’re still feeling poorly, Hattie. I hope you feel better soon.
As to what’s on my mind, writing-wise: something I struggle with is the intended audience for a piece of writing. I began my current project wanting to write it as a children’s novel, but I realized the sentence structure and themes and stuff just didn’t seem to fit what I think of as children’s lit. Now I’m freer in a sense, because I don’t have to fit my writing to a specific age group. But when I was writing it for children (I’m talking middle grades-ish here), my writing days were very ... halting, or something. I worried all the time over questions like, ‘Who could understand this?’ ‘Do I need to focus on plot progression or fixing my sentence length?’ ‘Is this idea sufficiently interesting for a middle grade student? Or is it more for YA? Or for adults who don’t read modernist literature? Or is it modernist-type writing all along?!?’
I mean, I’ve decided what it is now. (It’s a masterpiece that’s suited to both children who like modernism and adults who like plot-driven stories, and it’s something to read to the dog on a rainy day. It’s for the professor, the Hellenist, the academician [bonus points if you can name the reference!], so I’ve got all my bases covered.) But when I wasn’t sure what it was, I couldn’t escape the ‘audience question.’ And it really got in the way of my writing. Maybe it still will. In fact, I know it still will, it’s just a matter of holding it off.
Not entirely sure I’ve been super clear here, but this is what’s been on my mind, so I thought I’d share.
See you! (And again: really wish you well Hattie. My partner seems to have had medium-Covid. She’s fine by now, but it wasn’t great.)
Thanks Steven, and I hope your partner is still doing well. Covid is sneaky!
This is a really interesting topic and I think something that causes problems in publishing, where books tend to have to fit cleanly into one genre or another to find a deal.
Jul 7, 2022·edited Jul 7, 2022Liked by Hattie Crisell
Hi Hattie - Being brave, as foolish as it sounds, is my writing beast. Recognized this earlier few hours ago. Last few years was totally convinced the fear came from anyone else ever reading it. Self-awareness isn’t my strong suit, and it dawned on me the judgement I most feared was from myself. Perpetually my own worst critic. Using the desktop app OmmWriter helps a bit. It is immersive and doesn’t flag writing errors. Current weapon against perfectionism. No lack of ideas. It’s the anxiety the hypercritical inner voice would find the results of any writing not worthy of the effort, saying it was arrogant to have tried. That hateful voice is brutal. My cowardly side wins too often, but sometimes can force myself to sit down and write. Something, anything. Unfortunately, my cowardly side wins too often. I’m open to any advice or suggestion from all my fellow writers. Thanks for an excellent blog, much appreciated. ~ Thanks, Cindy
These famous writers, below, articulate the struggle well.
“Beginning a novel is always hard. It feels like going nowhere. I always have to write at least 100 pages that go into the trashcan before it finally begins to work. It’s discouraging, but necessary to write those pages. I try to consider them pages -100 to zero of the novel.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~ Maya Angelou
“There is probably no hell for authors in the next world – they suffer so much from critics and publishers in this one.” ~ C.N. Bovee (Inner critic is worse, though.)
“A word after a word after a word is power.” --Margaret Atwood
“I went for years not finishing anything. Because, of course, when you finish something you can be judged.” --Erica Jong
“Writing is a hellish task, best snuck up on, whacked on the head, robbed and left for dead.” — Ann-Marie MacDonald, author, The Way the Crow Flies
I had the same, pre-vaccination, feeling fine for a few days then fatigue and breathlessness again, for about 8 weeks. It does get better. I hope you're feeling better now (as I note I'm late commenting).
With writing, a big challenge for me is committing to fitting the writing regularly (alongside full time work, social life etc.) I definitely have time to write, it's just actually dedicating that time I'm struggling with. And sometimes also losing faith in the project (thinking, the start is now all wrong, do I go back and fix it, is this book actually boring, should I just scrap it and start something new, etc.)
Thanks Lily! The fatigue is a lot better than it was.
I have the same struggle with dedicating time. I might do a newsletter about this. I think losing faith is very natural and everyone seems to say, just push through until you have a finished draft. Which I find easier said than done!
This was an insightful piece from that essay -- especially for someone like me who’s a parent, a partner, and a teacher. Lots of time to sandwich between!
In a writing workshop this spring, the first comment was that my essay was "blunt" and the next three participants echoed the sentiment. Ouch. But I found and read _Meander, Spiral, Explode: Design and Pattern in Narrative_ By: Jane Alison. I am starting to incorporate her ideas on time (expanding time, real time, and compressed time) and structures that can be found in nature - I especially like the idea of writing "waves."
Oo! my PhD is on narrative structure and folklore patterns, I’m so glad you’ve recommended this it sounds perfect.
Thanks for this Lynn. I've heard that's a great book. I would love to hear more about the idea of writing waves if you have time to come back and tell us – sounds very intriguing.
Get well soon Hattie! I’m sorry I missed the writing hour. I really want to make the next one. At the moment I’m thinking a lot about trash drafts and writing being destruction as per your Holly Bourne and Elif Shafak episodes! I’m in trash draft stage and I need to get the words out without being precious, which in verse novels is HARD! But I love writing in notebooks so I can see the crossings out / destruction part and it’s not just all about computer word count...
That's so cool. I type almost everything, but when I get stuck, I find I crave a pen and paper. Then I can scribble out a plan in a more visual way, with lots of arrows and circles etc. It's so interesting that writing by hand seems to access a different part of the brain.
Hope you feel better soon Hattie, sounds miserable. Give yourself lots of tlc x I’m thinking on how the story demands to be written, like that adage I’ve heard many people quote that writing is a revelatory process, more like sculpture, and really how I just have to get out of the way and let it happen. It takes longer but I’ve found writing by hand really helpful, because you can’t edit and you can’t wander off to Wikipedia for ‘research’....
Thank you. Getting there (fingers crossed).
Yes, I think Stephen King talks about that in On Writing, if I'm remember correctly. I didn't really believe it when I read it, to be honest – I didn't like the vaguely mystical implication that the stories exist without us and we're just 'finding' them. But now, having got a bit further into creative writing myself, I can see that it does *feel* like that sometimes – as though you're uncovering something that was already there. It's a really nice feeling.
Feel better soon, Hattie - wishing you lots of rest and a smooth recovery from here on out.
I really need this thread prompt - actually think it's useful to have the occasional writing confessional/blackhole that we can put our best and worst writing thoughts into. On my writing mind at the moment is the issue of voice (and a current loss of confidence that I have one).
I've been trying to write more regularly recently, because I think not writing things through or taking enough time to just write and practice is one of my biggest enemies. However, I'm struggling at the moment to know if what I'm writing is a) any good at all (there's that confidence issue) and b) whether is the sort of tone/voice I really want to develop. Everything feels a bit off at the moment.
My plan to combat this is do some more experimenting. To try out some different styles and tones to see if I'm placing unnecessary restrictions on myself as I write.
Sounds like you’ve got a voice to me. Stick with it.
Love the idea of a writing confessional/blackhole! Maybe we should make it a regular feature.
I think your plan is spot on. Also – not sure if this is a silly idea but – do you keep a journal? I find freeform writing, morning pages and that kind of thing, quite good in just getting something on the page without criticising it. I know your voice in a journal might be different to your voice in fiction, but they'd probably be cousins at least?
Also I do think my confidence in my voice grew a bit in the second year of the MA, which I know you're about to go into. I think just keep doing everything you're doing.
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Current writing challenges, as if they ever end. I'm starting a new job so that takes time and attention. I now have two jobs. The work that pays the bills will continues to be a distraction from the work that 'pays' the soul, at least until I hit my stride with the new position. For many years I have been fighting with myself and the demands of everyday life. I scrap to make a space for my writing and to find a balance. Luckily there's a lot of opportunity for practice. That is the place I'm in (thank you for getting me to say it), making MY writing a priority. Writing fiction, write every day, and keep the promise I have made to myself to be a writer. Technically I'm currently focused on voice. I'm paying attention to it in what I've been reading as well as in my own work.
Get well soon.
Thanks so much Jill. Juggling priorities is so hard, but you are definitely a writer, so keep going!
I echo everyone in their well wishes, hopeful for speedy recovery!
One thing has been occupying my writing (or lack there of); how are physical realities best represented in their emotional effects? As an example, when my wife and I are casually talking if the kitchen island is in between us there is often the conversational/emotional sense of some floating intruder disrupting the discussion. But how is that best introduced in text? How to the small things that shouldn’t matter but do appear in a medium that often strips those things away?
That’s what I’m noodling in! Delightful to read everyone else’s comments as well, what an imaginative crew!
My question for you would be this: does the kitchen island really seems like a floating intruder? Or is tension/conflict/etc the floating intruder and the physical object just a way to express it? Or, if the talking is as casual as you say -- and conflict free -- is the floating intruder ‘overhearing’ something private (an off-color joke; a cruel word about a colleague you’ve just had over to dinner; a remark about your nephew’s thumbsucking habit -- or possibly even something more mundane, such as telling your wife she looks nice in her new pink running shoes)?
I’m curious -- for myself, this might not apply to you, but I’ll run with it in case it’s helpful -- what about the conversation makes the object embody an intruder. I’d like to explore the emotional resonance of the people in the scene and then explore how to make the objects reflect or heighten that emotion, maybe by personifying them.
Hey Steven!
Love the continuation of this, the kitchen island was an off the cuff example but you tapped into the thrust of the question exactly. I think my worry is pursuing your framing is in the personification of the physical, making a grounded feature come alive is a certain approach I would juxtapose with leaving it rigid and staunch.
So to explore it in another context, in a beach scene the waves (and sense experiences surrounding them) are often highly present in scenes that occur there, but my aim would be to include them not as directly affecting/reflecting the conversation/scene but permanent and overarching all scenes that have ever taken place there. This scene affects the waves rather than the waves affecting the scene, and of course the waves are unphased (just as a kitchen counter would be, presiding over some human disconnect in communication).
But to lean more into your thoughtful response, I think connecting the dots between the emotional resonance of the human to the objects and how they manifest in the character’s perspective could be incredibly fruitful as well!
Thanks Ethan and Steven – this is really thought-provoking. It reminded me of this newsletter by Toby Litt (who teaches on my course at Birkbeck): https://awritersdiary.substack.com/p/juni-15 I think what he's saying is that what your characters notice, and where and how lingering their attention is, tells you a lot about their state of mind. Your character could, for example, find himself increasingly irritated by the obstacle of the kitchen island during the conversation because he wants to touch his wife – but I think the briefest suggestion of something like this will go a long way with a reader.
Hope you feel better soon.... The writing thing I'm struggling with most (apart from the usual finding time to actually do any) is the anxiety that comes with putting it out there. Mostly I mean in small ways, like sending out my newsletter. But I have something bigger in the works too, and the jangly nerves are insane. Where does this come from? And why doesn't it seem to go away with practice? (I'm a journalist - you'd think I'd be used to it by now). x
I know. It's so scary. I don't know why we put ourselves through it. If any consolation, doing workshops as part of my MA was like being thrown into the deep end with this, and I think it *does* get easier with practice – but never quite goes away. x
Hi Hattie. Hope you feel better soon.
I'm writing my second novel at the mo (first one as yet unpublished!) and it seems to be so hard compared to the first one; to get words on the page, to feel like I'm on any kind of roll etc, to make headway...
I was so into the idea for this book when I started out but it's like pulling teeth and I keep thinking how well the first one flowed. Do you think this is a sign that I should put it away or should I persevere? Also, maybe I'm forgetting how hard the first one was too!
The parts my trusted readers who've read my first novel liked the best were the parts I found hardest to write so maybe it's worth continuing as maybe the writing is better than it feels. It's not exactly fun though....! Let me know what you think. x
Hi Rachel, thanks so much for this. I don't think I have any authority here to give an opinion really – I'm so impressed that you finished writing one novel, which is more than I've achieved. I have one thought, though – are you writing in a chronological way (i.e. chapter one followed by chapter two)? I sometimes find when I'm stuck that it's better to just skip to a bit that I actually want to write – maybe something that's been playing on my mind or that I've already semi-written in my head. It might even be the end of the story, or something much further into it. It does mean that I'm working in a jigsaw fashion, jumping around a lot, but for me it helps to keep morale up and keep making progress.
Thanks Hattie. It’s a good idea and reminded me that I did that kind of thing with the last book actually. I have covid (hope you’re feeling better) so maybe I’m just down on everything.
My next post on here will be jollier, I promise!
God, I really sympathise. As my mum is always reminding me, viruses have a depressive effect – so it's very natural to feel down. I hope you feel much better very soon.
Hi Hattie. I was surprised you were even able to write over 700 words! When I have Covid, I’m barely able to think! Hopefully, your fatigue will pass soon and you’ll be back on the trail.
As regards my writing, I am completely rewriting and rejigging the fantasy/healing trilogy I am currently working on. I had finished the first one and published it on Amazon but in writing what I believed was the sequel, I realised that some of the sequel chapters would work better in the first book. Doing courses has made me a better plotter! Of course, adding the new chapters means getting rid of some of the others, but as I’ve already published the first one, which I will park on Amazon for now, I know they are not lost.
I had begun to stall, writing what I thought were the final chapters of the sequel, because something was not feeling right. I was struggling with timing. Once I decided to remove some of the chapters and place them in the first book I was able to continue, unblocked. (I love how our sub-conscious mind understands the energy of rhythms and timing better than our conscious one).
But, as eager as I am to continue, and to get as much done as possible before the next life-hiccup stops me for a bit, I have to visit the chiropractor today.
However, things can percolate while I listen to your podcast on the drive down.
Take care and let your brain and body rest and hopefully you’ll be up and about in no time.
Have a restful day.
Thanks so much Ann, that's really kind. Sounds like a very good breakthrough on the trilogy, and brilliant to see progress thanks to the courses you've been doing. Hope you had a good productive few days.
I love your idea about our subconscious mind getting the energy of rhythms and timing better than our conscious mind. It’s an experience I’ve had and it reminds me of something a famous American film critic said: I’ve never encountered a problem with my writing that could be solved with something other than doing the writing. Or something like that, anyway. It’s a good mantra, maybe.
This is great.
Oh no! Sorry to hear you’re still feeling poorly, Hattie. I hope you feel better soon.
As to what’s on my mind, writing-wise: something I struggle with is the intended audience for a piece of writing. I began my current project wanting to write it as a children’s novel, but I realized the sentence structure and themes and stuff just didn’t seem to fit what I think of as children’s lit. Now I’m freer in a sense, because I don’t have to fit my writing to a specific age group. But when I was writing it for children (I’m talking middle grades-ish here), my writing days were very ... halting, or something. I worried all the time over questions like, ‘Who could understand this?’ ‘Do I need to focus on plot progression or fixing my sentence length?’ ‘Is this idea sufficiently interesting for a middle grade student? Or is it more for YA? Or for adults who don’t read modernist literature? Or is it modernist-type writing all along?!?’
I mean, I’ve decided what it is now. (It’s a masterpiece that’s suited to both children who like modernism and adults who like plot-driven stories, and it’s something to read to the dog on a rainy day. It’s for the professor, the Hellenist, the academician [bonus points if you can name the reference!], so I’ve got all my bases covered.) But when I wasn’t sure what it was, I couldn’t escape the ‘audience question.’ And it really got in the way of my writing. Maybe it still will. In fact, I know it still will, it’s just a matter of holding it off.
Not entirely sure I’ve been super clear here, but this is what’s been on my mind, so I thought I’d share.
See you! (And again: really wish you well Hattie. My partner seems to have had medium-Covid. She’s fine by now, but it wasn’t great.)
Thanks Steven, and I hope your partner is still doing well. Covid is sneaky!
This is a really interesting topic and I think something that causes problems in publishing, where books tend to have to fit cleanly into one genre or another to find a deal.
Hi Hattie - Being brave, as foolish as it sounds, is my writing beast. Recognized this earlier few hours ago. Last few years was totally convinced the fear came from anyone else ever reading it. Self-awareness isn’t my strong suit, and it dawned on me the judgement I most feared was from myself. Perpetually my own worst critic. Using the desktop app OmmWriter helps a bit. It is immersive and doesn’t flag writing errors. Current weapon against perfectionism. No lack of ideas. It’s the anxiety the hypercritical inner voice would find the results of any writing not worthy of the effort, saying it was arrogant to have tried. That hateful voice is brutal. My cowardly side wins too often, but sometimes can force myself to sit down and write. Something, anything. Unfortunately, my cowardly side wins too often. I’m open to any advice or suggestion from all my fellow writers. Thanks for an excellent blog, much appreciated. ~ Thanks, Cindy
These famous writers, below, articulate the struggle well.
“Beginning a novel is always hard. It feels like going nowhere. I always have to write at least 100 pages that go into the trashcan before it finally begins to work. It’s discouraging, but necessary to write those pages. I try to consider them pages -100 to zero of the novel.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~ Maya Angelou
“There is probably no hell for authors in the next world – they suffer so much from critics and publishers in this one.” ~ C.N. Bovee (Inner critic is worse, though.)
“A word after a word after a word is power.” --Margaret Atwood
“I went for years not finishing anything. Because, of course, when you finish something you can be judged.” --Erica Jong
“Writing is a hellish task, best snuck up on, whacked on the head, robbed and left for dead.” — Ann-Marie MacDonald, author, The Way the Crow Flies
Love these Cindy. Thank you. I could do with more bravery too.
I had the same, pre-vaccination, feeling fine for a few days then fatigue and breathlessness again, for about 8 weeks. It does get better. I hope you're feeling better now (as I note I'm late commenting).
With writing, a big challenge for me is committing to fitting the writing regularly (alongside full time work, social life etc.) I definitely have time to write, it's just actually dedicating that time I'm struggling with. And sometimes also losing faith in the project (thinking, the start is now all wrong, do I go back and fix it, is this book actually boring, should I just scrap it and start something new, etc.)
Thanks Lily! The fatigue is a lot better than it was.
I have the same struggle with dedicating time. I might do a newsletter about this. I think losing faith is very natural and everyone seems to say, just push through until you have a finished draft. Which I find easier said than done!
Thanks so much for sharing this Astrid – it's a great description of how writing works. I hope you're feeling better!
Hope you feel better soon!
This was an insightful piece from that essay -- especially for someone like me who’s a parent, a partner, and a teacher. Lots of time to sandwich between!